Several years ago, my sister-friend Lindsey and I took a kickboxing class. It was fantastic! I felt so empowered from taking this class. My confidence level grew so much and I felt so much stronger. Not that I would ever walk down a dark alley at night anyway, but if I ever have to, because of kickboxing, I feel like I can defend myself.
Kickboxing was a tough class. Our instructor April was this tiny woman who was unbelievably fierce. “Harder, faster!” she would shout as she walked around the classroom. I have to tell you, there is something extraordinarily freeing about punching a paddle and hearing it, POP! Or kicking it in the right spot and hearing the same, satisfactory clap of the paddle.
After moving, I stopped taking kickboxing. But I still did a lot of the exercises April taught us. Lunges and squats are something I have done for years, but April had “add ons” to each exercise.
Lunges and squats for leg day are not the first thing I think about in the mornings when I think, “What all am I going to do today?”
I used to hate leg day. Lunges and squats? Ugh. No thank you. However, over the years I have grown (leg and butt pun intended) to actually enjoy leg day. It’s good for me and I need it. I am still not a fan of deadlift day. Terry even bought a pink deadlift bar for me. Bless his heart, I think he thought if it was a prettier bar, lifting the 85 pounds of pink and black weights (I add 15 pounds to each side) would make me like it better. Side note … Terry thought my bar weighed 30 pounds. I was convinced I lost all muscle memory, because it was just so heavy each time I tried to lift it with the added weights. So when we weighed the bar, imagine our surprise when the bar itself weighed 55 pounds! But let’s face it. I am not a fan of the deadlift bar. It could pour a glass of wine with every lift and I would still not love it. I am not sure I ever will be a fan, in fact. You can ask Terry, though … I have mostly stopped the whining when we walk into our garage gym on deadlift day.
Mostly.
Growing in my faith is a lot like working out on deadlift day, and doing the exercises I find to be more challenging. Spending time with God first thing in the morning? Love it. Reading my devotion then reading my Bible? Love it. Praying and talking to God, my Papa? Absolutely love it.
Being quiet and still when I pray, though, is still somewhat uncomfortable and challenging for me. I guess like deadlift day, I am a work in progress. I have to focus on not talking and listening for God’s Holy Spirit. But it is good for me and I need it, so I am practicing being still and quiet.
When I pray, I have a tendency to want to do all of the talking. But as a Southern woman raised with manners, I know how rude this is, in conversation. If I am not quiet and listen for a response, I am placing my life and my issues above the other person. This is not any different with God. Now, don’t get me wrong … it isn’t like God expects me to say, “Well, how is Your day going? Did You sleep well last night?”
But He does expect me to be still and listen.
“He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun. Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes.” - Psalm 37:6-7 (NLT)
Some days are so much harder than others. Some days, I can sit outside and feel a cool breeze and think, “Oh, that’s You Papa.” The sunshine feels like a kiss on my cheek from my Savior. The birds singing remind me of angels gathered around God’s Throne, singing His praises. But other days, (nighttime can be the worst), the silence can be deafening. I get antsy. I fidget. My legs shake in anticipation. My fingers curl up into a fist as I wait, somewhat tapping my feet, “Come on, come on, I’ve got things to do!”
I am not very good about being still in the presence of the Lord and waiting patiently for Him to act. But I am trying. I am trying to be more polite in my prayer life, and instead of jabbering away, being still. Being quiet. Being present. I am focusing on being more intentional when I read scripture. I look with fresh eyes, trying to find what God is telling me in that particular moment. When I talk with my precious, Jesus loving friends, I listen for their wise counsel pointing to God, rather than acquiescing to what the world says is okay.
It is a daily exercise of our faith, to be still and quiet in the presence of the Lord. But the more we practice, and the more we work out … the stronger our faith will be.