Terry is a very methodical thinker. I am a very emotional over-thinker.
Terry thinks about things rationally and logically. I think about things irrationally and like a lunatic, at times. I call this, “preparing for all scenarios.” This is why I call it thinking like a lunatic. I do not own a crystal ball where I can look into the future, so why I worry so much about things out of my control make no sense.
Some days I spend wasted hours creating “what if” situations in my head. Situations so absurd, I am still amazed God hasn’t appeared in the flesh, just to slap me, Himself. I marvel at how patient He continues to be with my impatience. He is so kind and filled with grace and mercy toward me.
One morning a little more than a year ago, I woke up really early. The sun was not up yet, but would be soon, and I decided some quiet time outside with Jesus was the medicine my worried soul needed. I made a cup of coffee, turned off the alarm and went outside to sit at the patio table. I watched as the sky became lighter and the darkness faded into a beautiful work of art, full of gentle colors.
As I sat there watching the darkness fade into the light, I felt it. “Turn off the other alarm.”
Wait. What?
The security alarm had already been disarmed. What other alarm?
“I need to drink my coffee,” I thought. I am not even making sense to myself.
As I sat down with my Bible and devotion book, I recall it so vividly. “Turn off the other alarm.”
So often, Terry and I use prayer alarms on my phone to remind us to pray. No way could this be about turning off those alarms?
I sat there and began to pray, “Are you telling me something, God?”
I believe the alarm I was nudged to turn off was my heightened sense of worry. The worry about what might happen can overwhelm my thoughts and this shows me something extremely troubling. It shows me I do not have enough faith.
I love the story of Jesus calming the storm. As I get older and read it, I often find myself with tears streaming down my face because I would be one of the disciples who were panicked and afraid.
“Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!” He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!” - Matthew 8:23-27 (NIV)
Let me just take a second to point out why I think I would be like the disciples here. They still didn’t truly understand the strength, the holiness and the power of Jesus. So of course they were afraid. They believed the storms were going to rock the boat, overcome it and drown them all.
But Jesus showed them who He was. He got up and He made the winds and waves calm.
When I was feeling the nudge to turn off my other alarm, I believe the Holy Spirit was telling me to calm down. I was being reminded of what little faith I truly have and to trust in the strength, the holiness and the power of Jesus.
No matter how we think; logically or emotionally. We need to know who Jesus really is. When we grasp His identity as being the One who calms storms, we won’t obsessively worry about every little thing.
Trust me. As someone who has been in church my entire life, this lesson is probably more for me than it is for you. Let’s face it, do I even know who Jesus really is? If I say yes, then why do I worry?
My Jesus can get up during a hurricane and calm the storm around Him. So why on earth would I worry about things, whatsoever?