I took an eight week writing course during this COVID19 lockdown. The way I look at it, I got off the bitter highway and started a better journey.
So let me fill you in, a bit, on what took place.
I completed my manuscript for Broken Strength a little over a year ago. I sent it to my former editor (from the magazine where I worked) and asked her if she would take a look at it. She did, and sent back her input and suggested changes. First, I need to explain that her suggested changes did not include, “where you wrote this word, you need to use this one.” No. What she did was challenge me. She would ask me questions like, “Is this the way you want to deliver this chapter?” And, “Your tone is kind of bitter here, and while I think you have every right to be upset, angry and bitter over what happened … this does not sound like you.”
So I printed it out, and began making some changes to the bitter words to make them better.
A lot of changes. A couple of my red pens ran out of ink, I made so many changes.
Then, some other things happened and I pushed the manuscript to the back burner … a lot of times wanting to just ignite the flame on that burner, and burn the whole thing.
But when I began sharing snippets here and there with y’all, I started connecting with an awful lot of you. You may not know it, but your comments, your private messages and emails put me back in the writer’s chair. A lot of you were/are in the place I was, years ago and we all needed to know Jesus shows up.
Jesus always shows up.
I wondered as I began the rewrite if I should even write this particular book at all? There is so much shame, regret and heartache in it. So much guilt for not changing things, sooner. So much hurt. But then I heard Bob Goff say something once, and my head and heart were changed. He said, “All those words of doubt you have? That ain’t Jesus talking.”
You and I have stories to tell. Most of them are not the fairytale stories we envision when we are young. Sadly, many of our stories are more like the horror movies, or the suspense novels we read; filled with anxiety, pain and anticipation. We don’t want to share them because we compare our stories to what we think are the stories belonging to other people. You know what I mean. We believe life is in the “Pinterest” perfect pictures we see. We mistake the surface shot for being a perfect life, when what is behind the camera is actually imperfection.
God not only redeems the brokenness, He restores. God not only forgives us for our sins, He erases them. God fills us with mercy, love and strength where the enemy tries to fill us with doubt, hate and weakness.
“And I will forgive their wickedness, and I will never again remember their sins.” - Hebrews 8:12 (NLT)
Your stories are part of God’s most beautiful work. Even the messy, ugly chapters. In fact, especially those chapters. That’s where He shows up and shines. We want to red pen edit those chapters, but God reveals Himself the most to us on those pages.
If you are feeling stuck, might I offer some advice? Take an exit off the bitter highway and enjoy a better journey. The scenery is beautiful.