Y’all remember when I wrote about my sister-friend Jessica telling me how she visualizes herself handing a problem over to Jesus? How she closes her eyes and pictures what she is wearing, and walks herself through the moment, feeling everything all around her, but physically handing it (whatever her “it” may be) over to Jesus? (See July 9th post).
I have to confess something to you.
I tend to keep handing the same things/same problems / same worries / same fears over and over again to Him. Tonight as I am writing this, I had to picture myself in my gray and pink pajamas, walking up to Jesus, smelling like the coconut lotion I put on after my shower, dragging this big, heavy pile of emotional mess Terry and I have been dealing with for a while now; but here’s the thing.
I already gave it to Him.
And yet, here I am again, hauling this heavy, emotional baggage and fear of the unknown, closing my eyes and visualizing myself handing it up to Jesus.
Again.
I have this very long track record of worrying, you see, and I have found myself to be quite good at it. This is nothing to brag about, but here I am, telling you about how very good I am at worrying. Great at it, actually. I could list it as a “special skill” on my resume.
Worrying? Awesome at it.
Overthinking? Nailed it; do it extremely well.
Obsessing over something completely out of my control? Have mastered the art of it.
Focusing incessantly on something I cannot do anything about, change or alter? Could teach a course on it.
Wholeheartedly acquiescing to the Will of God, and trusting Him to handle my problems without my obsessing/worrying/overthinking or constant interruptions trying to intervene? Failed it.
Miserably failed it, in fact. I seem to think God needs me tugging back the problems I have already placed in His lap, and holding on, tightly.
“Keep me from the snares they have laid for me; from the traps set by evildoers. Let the wicked fall into their own nets, while I pass by in safety.” - Psalm 141:9-10 (NIV)
So here I am, again, picturing myself … visualizing myself, handing up to Jesus the problems we have had to face. This time with tears rolling down my face, telling Him, “I’m so sorry I do not trust You enough. I’m so sorry my heart and mind would ever doubt You. I’m so sorry I allow fear of the unknown to overwhelm me.”
And Jesus … our sweet, sweet Jesus, in His tender mercies, when I close my eyes and visualize Him taking the heavy burden from me, and stroking my hair, telling me, “I love you, Aimee. I’ve got this. I’ve got you. I’ve got Terry. I’ve got you. I’ve got you. I’ve got you. You don’t have to take this back again. But if you do, I forgive you. I will always forgive you, and I’ve got you.”
That’s our Jesus. So full of grace and love and forgiveness. When I doubt, He reassures. When I am afraid, He soothes me. When I worry, He comforts me.
When you and I pray for safety from people who would want to cause us harm, we do not have to doubt God’s promises. God has us. Let the wicked fall into their own nets, while we pass by in safety.