My precious daughter and I spent years in turmoil. Watching my terrible lead, we suffered in silence. Shame overcame us and guilt for allowing my daughter to endure what I endured often consumed me.
One day I wound up in the emergency room with internal bleeding from all the stress. In a moment of weakness, I actually prayed, “God, please take me. Just take me now.” As soon as I cried that prayer, the Holy Spirit wrapped Himself around me and whispered, “But Michala …”
I immediately wept and begged God for His forgiveness for that desire to just die. What about my precious baby? How could I selfishly wish for it all to end, leaving her to fend for herself?
That moment of weakness changed me and changed my direction. It changed my prayers and my closeness with Jesus, tremendously.
And you know what? I not only survived it, I thrived from it. God showed up and answered my desperate cries and my prayers for deliverance. It did not happen instantly, but I can look back and see how God was paving the way.
Then, years later, when Terry and I would pack up Michala’s things and move her hours away into her dorm, freshman year … the pain I felt leaving her that day was raw. It was heart wrenching pain. Guttural sobs and cries came out of my body as Terry exited the truck and stood on the sidewalk, arms open for me to just collapse into him, weeping.
It was a pain I did not want to feel, and I did not think I would survive it.
While I miss Michala living under our roof, we not only survived, we can see her thriving. We see how God went before her and paved the way for her to be exactly where He wanted her to be. She is surrounded by precious roommates and friends who love and adore her, but even more importantly, love and adore Jesus. She has found a church home that encourages her and lifts her up to be what Jesus has designed for her to be.
And now, each and every single one of us are facing our own areas of crisis and turmoil; angst from COVID, or even worse, grieving the loss of loved ones who died.
Jesus is still seated at the right hand of God.
“Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.” - Romans 8:34 (NLT)
I love this scripture. It reminds me of an image I need when life overwhelms me. Our precious Jesus is sitting at God’s right hand. Pleading for us.
Do you think God ignores any of us? Absolutely not.
Do you think God will ignore His Son, Jesus, who is pleading for us?
Absolutely not.
When the pain is just too much to bear and the burdens are too heavy to carry, give it to Jesus. Give it all to Jesus. And picture Him taking it and pleading on our behalf, to God.
After all, He is right next to Him.