I read former Speaker John Boehner’s book, On the House and enjoyed it so much, I read it again. Almost never will I read a book, twice. (I did with Love Does and Everybody Always, both by Bob Goff, but that’s it.)
Anyway, I have always admired and respected Speaker Boehner. In fact, selfishly I wish he were still the one leading the Republican Party. Maybe if he were, I would not be politically homeless right now. But I digress.
Speaker Boehner’s book is absolutely fascinating, and I devoured every page. If you are a political nerd like me, I highly recommend this book. If you even recall some of John Boehner’s time in Congress, I believe you would enjoy it as you already know the former Speaker does not mince words. He has a list of Boehnerisms that are both hilarious and deeply profound.
Something that always struck me about Speaker Boehner was how well he worked with both Republicans and Democrats. But if you read his book, you will find out there were many times he couldn’t even work with some of the “knuckleheads” (his word) within his own party, and had to go a different direction. As Christians, this happens to us, too. Sometimes people who are also believers or even members of our church or bible studies can say and do things so outrageous, we, too, have to go in a different direction.
One of my favorite sayings from Speaker Boehner’s book is, “A leader without followers is simply a man taking a walk.”
I loved this phrase so much and it got me thinking deeply about our roles as leaders. Whether we are leading a large group of followers, chairman of a company’s board of directors, a soccer coach, a Bible study leader, or leading the children we are raising; if we aren’t making everything about Jesus, we are simply a person out taking a walk.
This does not mean we are going to be perfect, nor does it mean we are going to get along with everyone. I think as lovers of Jesus, we mistakenly believe we should be friends with, and like every person we meet. We are human, though, and disagreements, clashes, or polarizing views will certainly prevent us from buddying up to everyone. This does not mean we believe ourselves to be better than anyone else. It just means we hold our beliefs so sacred, that if anyone or anything captivates our thoughts in ways that take our focus off Jesus, we have the power to say, “This isn’t for me.” (“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” - 2 Corinthians 2:5 NIV)
We can still love and pray for people, but we do not have to have them in our inner circles. It has taken me a very long time (47 years to be exact) to learn I cannot be everything to everyone. But I can give my everything to the One.
Jesus.
Loving people well does not mean we have to like them, or keep them up close and personal. Bob Goff says it beautifully in Love Does. He said, “I don’t mean to sound callous, because the bad ones need friends too. They just don’t need you.” To us, some people are difficult. Bad. Mean. Creepy. Weird. Toxic.
But to other people, you and I might appear the same to them. That’s why we need to love them, but we don’t have to be around them if it takes your focus away from Jesus.
Some people aren’t necessarily bad. They just might be bad for keeping your focus where it needs to be; on loving Jesus and loving others. When too much drama is dropped at your table, it’s hard to keep your focus on Jesus. And the enemy loves this. The enemy wants you to be sucked into someone’s drama, because it means you are shifting your focus from Jesus to the drama, or what someone else said or did.
My friend Becca shared something recently that really emphasizes this. She said about her milestone of turning 40, “I have learned to never accept criticism from someone I’d never ask for advice.”
I have been studying this very subject an awful lot this past year. I have lost “followers,” and I have also “unfollowed” a lot of people. But when “leaders” say things that are filled with hate or prejudice or not trying to welcome others into The Kingdom of God, they aren’t the kind of “leaders” I want to be turning to for wise counsel.
“Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.” - James 3:1-2 (NIV)
Jesus does not want us to be fake. While we should never aim to be mean, we should still be honest. As I have been digging into the word more and more this past year over this specific topic, working on a new project, I have uncovered an awful lot about loving people well, and how we can do that better, sometimes, from a distance.
“A leader without followers is, “A leader without followers is simply a man taking a walk.”
You and I can help lead people to Jesus. But more importantly, we need to be followers of Jesus. In doing so, we become even better leaders.