One of my favorite songs of all time is, “Better Than A Hallelujah.” Amy Grant sings it, but it was written by Sarah Hart and Chapin Hartford. “We pour out our miseries, God just hears a melody. Beautiful the mess we are, the honest cries of breaking hearts. Are better than a hallelujah.”
Grief is an unbearable emotion and the holidays can make it seem even more unbearable. We long for the loved ones to sit on the floors and sofas with us and open presents on Christmas morning. We miss the jokes and wisecracks around the table. We miss the texts and phone calls. The hugs. The laughter.
I shared with a friend recently, “Some days I can talk about it and it is just like mentioning a scraped knee. Other days, it’s reliving the death as if it just happened, all over again, and the pain is so fresh and raw.”
"I the Lord do not change. So you, the descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed.” - Malachi 3:6 (NIV)
Our emotions change, daily. Shoot, for some of us, by the hour! But God remains the same. Waves of grief and even anger can wash over us and change our mood from happy to heartbroken with just the trigger of a memory. We can be fine one moment and weeping the next. Fortunately for us, we serve a Mighty God who never changes.
I recently talked with a friend who suffered a miscarriage. She told me she feels bitter, heartbroken and angry, all within moments. I told her I felt like what she described sounds quite normal, and I encouraged her to grieve over this life lost. I then said, “My unsolicited advice? Try not to get stuck in this pain. Share all of the emotions you are feeling with God. Pray about every single bit of it. He can take it.”
I imagine God as our Father figure, and I know the song, “Better than a Hallelujah” is so true. When Michala calls me and is feeling stressed and overwhelmed (she is taking a full class load, has an internship and a part time job) about her grades (she was worried she might get a B this semester) I am happy to hear from her. While I usually shake my head and tell her she is worrying about nothing; she always does great; but even if she gets a B, we will not love her any less; Michala usually just needs to unpack her emotional baggage she has been carrying around, and once she shares with me, she feels better. I love hearing her walk her way through her emotions with me, and ask for my advice (if she needs it). My heart soars with Michala, because not only do I love her so much, but I am so proud of the incredibly kind, thoughtful, Jesus loving person she is. Most times when she is feeling stressed and needs to vent, she just needs to hear, “You are going to be just fine and I believe in you,” from Terry and me.
Isn’t that such a glimpse of when we take our miseries or stress to God? He wants to hear from us, no matter what. “We pour out our miseries, God just hears a melody. Beautiful the mess we are, the honest cries of breaking hearts. Are better than a hallelujah.”
I know grief can feel like an unbearable weight you can no longer pick up and carry … especially during the Christmas season. Unpack your grief in prayer. Papa loves to hear it. The cries from your broken heart are better than a hallelujah to His ears.