I am going to share a very odd, bizarre truth about me. So here goes. Ever since I was a little girl, I have had this (unrealistic) fear of quicksand. I guess I have Gilligan’s Island and Scooby Doo to thank for this, I don’t really know. But sinking into quicksand used to consume my thoughts at night when I was little. I imagined our beach vacations in Deerfield Beach, Florida to be absolutely wonderful … until I began to sink in the sand that I knew would turn into quicksand.
I know better, of course, and the older I become, the more I shake my head at my younger self. But through the trials Terry and I have faced the past few years, I can see how I allowed my thoughts to sink into a self-inflicted quicksand type of pit.
“I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.” - Psalm 40:1-2 (NIV)
I have shared this before, but for day after day, week after week, month after month, I treated our shower as my “Wailing Wall Shower Stall.” It just seemed easier to stand in the shower and sob away my anguish as Terry and I sought after God’s will for our lives. Pastor Steve Lawes said something so beautiful a few weeks ago, I wrote it down in my Bible so I would never forget it. He said, “So many people will say, ‘Isn’t God’s will always done?’ The answer is No! God is good and God is sovereign. The sovereignty of God is complicated. The goodness of God is simple. If something isn’t good, it’s not God and it’s not from God. So it isn’t God’s will! Too many people are blaming God for bad things saying it’s God’s will. That’s not true! But God can take all the bad and use it in life for His good.”
Go ahead and re-read that paragraph.
Terry and I looked at each other with raised eyebrows, and I had some serious tears falling down my face that morning as I frantically scribbled the words spoken into my notebook and Bible. The things that happen to so many of us are not good, and we mistakenly believe it is the will of God.
As I continued to go through the motions during those months of uncertainty as Terry and I sought after Papa’s answer for us, I could feel myself sinking into a figurative quicksand, just as Gilligan and Mr. Howell once did. I allowed myself to believe the terrible things people did to us … were in God’s will, and my stubborn reluctance for acceptance of such, had me on the outside of God’s will.
This is so far from the truth. We also mistakenly believe, all too often, that we cannot get angry in front of God. God can take our anger. In fact, He wants to hear from us with every single emotion we have. So I took my anger over the injustices Terry and I faced and the evil done to us, and I shared it with Papa, over and over, I poured my heart out to Him.
As I waited (not always patiently, but I’m growing more patient) God turns to me, every single time, and He hears my cries. He pulled me out of the slimy pit and He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
Please do not believe the evil or the injustices you are facing are God’s will. If it is not good, it isn’t from God. Reach out your hands to Him and allow Him to pull you out of the quicksand of emotions and trust His goodness to restore your brokenness. His goodness is always part of His Will. We just have to trust His clock and calendar, not ours.