Our pastor, Steve Lawes, taught us something several years ago that forever changed the way I view our marriage. I have shared this before, but it is worth sharing again. He taught us to replace the word, “Love” with “God” in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Because God is love, this reminds us of what God’s character is. “God is patient, God is kind.”
Steve then challenged us to place our names where the word, “Love” appears. Boom, Mic Drop. This was a game changer for me. Because Aimee is not always patient. Aimee is not always kind. But I remember the morning I was sitting in church hearing this, and wanted to ask Steve to please walk somewhere else and stop stepping all over my toes. I told Terry, “If we were to ever say our vows over again, I would want to have this.” So that day, Terry and I said it to each other. We want to strive to love each other in such a way, we could easily say:
“Terry is patient, Aimee is kind. Terry does not envy, Aimee does not boast, Terry is not proud. Aimee does not dishonor Terry, and is not self-seeking. Terry is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs. Aimee does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Terry always protects, Aimee always trusts, Terry always hopes, Aimee always perseveres. Terry’s and Aimee’s love never fails.” - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (What we strive for our marriage vows to be, every single day).
It is extremely humbling to read that passage and know how short I fall, daily. Aimee is not always patient. Sometimes Aimee is easily angered and keeps a long record of wrongs (grudge) rather than letting things go, immediately.
For Christmas, I found an artist who makes beautiful leather journals. I reached out and asked her to make one for Terry (his name is on the outside) and asked if she would make an inside cover page with the above scripture. It turned out so beautifully, I bought one for my bonus son and his wife, too. I told Terry this journal is meant to turn into a “book of love letters” from him to me.
Is Valentine’s Day a made-up holiday for love and chocolates, wines and greeting card companies? Possibly. But I like to think of every day as Valentine’s Day. If I am living a life solely focused on Jesus, then loving others well is what comes naturally. If I live my life so that others immediately know I love Jesus just by the way I speak and treat them, my actions will be like a book of love letters. Instead of handwritten letters from me, though, my words and actions will reflect God’s love letter to us.
“Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” - John 13:35 (NLT)
Don’t get me wrong. I am a true romantic. I am sappy. I love love. I love Hallmark movies and romantic comedies and commercials that pull at your heartstrings (I’m looking at you, Loretta Google commercial!). I love when Terry surprises me with anything from a softer floor rug to put my feet on when I first wake up in the morning to planning a romantic trip for us. But the way we express our love should be every day, not just on special occasions or holidays. That way, we will prove to the world that we are Jesus’ disciples.