When I was little, my mom used to tell me, “If you can go to bed every night having learned at least one thing, then it was a good day.” The importance of learning was crucial in our home. When my brother and I got in any sort of trouble, we had unique punishments. Dad would give us a topic and we would have to write an essay (he determined the number of words) on said topic, and we had to use the Encyclopedia Britannica as our source. We were also grounded, mind you, and for me, I was often grounded from using the phone. This was torture, late 80s and early 90s style.
I can look back now and see Dad played a very big role in my becoming a writer.
I got into a lot of trouble growing up. Mainly for talking. Teachers would send notes home about my work being great but I needed to learn to be quiet. This did not sit well with parents who were strict. Our parents were not too strict, in that they were not cruel or overbearing. But when they told us to do something, they expected it done, the first time. Our parents had a great emphasis on education and hard work.
Because of this upbringing, I have always had something to read, or something to learn on my daily agenda. I am taking an online writing course right now, because let’s face it … I have a lot of room to become better, and I want to go to bed every day having learned at least one thing.
One of the things I am learning more about myself as a writer is the trajectory of my writing. I used to think I had to give the cookie cutter, Bible study answer. “Give the reader the silver lining outlook,” I thought. But with time and I hope, wisdom, I have been able to be more vulnerable with you, my reader. I see now how the past couple of years of writing have been somewhat chain breaking for me.
I no longer feel the need to cover up my past or my shame. While it is never, ever, ever my intent to offend anyone with my words, I have grown to realize sometimes standing up for what I believe to be biblical truth and biblical principles will ruffle feathers. My job is not to please everyone, but please The One.
The more authentic I am, the more I will show my imperfections (and they are many!) and Jesus’ perfection.
“Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.” - 2 Timothy 2:15 (NIV)
This verse hit home for me. I am a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. At least I am praying I correctly handle the word of truth. I realize more often than not, this can make us very “unpopular” with the world, when group mentality says one thing, but God’s word says another. As much as I care about people and want people to like me, I am learning to care less about being liked and care more about pleasing the One who made me.
Each morning when I sit down to write, I have a new daily prayer. “Give me the words so people see You, not me.” You see, I used to think I needed to have a fancy way of writing, or I needed to somehow “prove” being a “good Christian” by the things I didn’t say. Now I see I can be a better writer by just sharing the honest truth.
I’m a broken mess, but I don’t source my strength from popularity or social media likes. I source my strength from Jesus. The closer I become to wanting what God wants for me, the less ashamed I am about sharing my story.
I want us all to be a people not ashamed. I want us all to be a people who correctly handle the word of truth. Sometimes it is uncomfortable, but getting out of our own comfort zones can lead us into being more comfortable with Jesus. I would much prefer to be comfortable with Jesus than stuck in my comfort zone.
The more authentic we are, the more real Jesus becomes to those around us.