I woke up one morning with such a sense of heaviness. I had a dream about my grandmother and it was just so real. I dreamed I got up and when I walked into the living room, she was sitting there in a recliner (a recliner we don’t have) rocking and I stopped in my tracks. She smiled at me and said, “Well aren’t you going to come give me a hug?”
I could feel her in my dream. I could feel her soft sweat jacket she loved to wear. I could smell her perfume. I could feel the way her hands felt as she held my hands and looked in my eyes. She said to me, “Baby, I want you to remember everything I ever told you. Okay? Remember what I would always say.”
She started to get up and in my dream, I knew she was dead, yet I couldn’t let her go. I kept trying to pull her back toward me, and she turned around still holding my hand, smiled so big and said, “Just remember what I would always say, okay?” And she put her hands on my face and then was gone.
As Terry and I were sipping our coffee, I told him about my dream. He asked me, “Well, what would she always say? What message do you think was in your dream?”
My initial thought was, “Goodness gracious, I have no idea.” I have thought about it, now, for days. I still don’t know what Grandmother’s message was. There are so many things it could be. As we are living our lives now in a “quarantined” manner, I think of so many of the stories she told us about growing up during The Depression. Was it her frugality I am supposed to remember now? How to make things stretch? Diluting soaps and such, to make them last longer?
Is it how she would make meals out of nothing, from a lifetime of experience? Dried beans never tasted so good. She could do anything and she did, in fact. She made life so pleasurable and taught me so much about having joy.
“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” - Philippians 4:11-13 (NIV)
This precious woman had joy. It did not matter what was going on, she had joy. She was joy. Joy just exuded from her. She sourced her joy from Jesus.
My grandmother had such a beautiful, precious voice and she loved to sing. She sang in her church choir for as long as her health allowed her to do so. I cannot tell you how many times I walked into a room and heard her humming or softly singing, “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus.”
This is such a scary, unknown time. The human side of me says, “When is this going to end? Are we all going to be okay? Do Mom and Dad have everything they need so they won’t go out? Do Michala and her roommates have enough food? Are they okay?” The “faith” side of me says, “Aimee, Do not fear.”
I am not sure what specific lesson from my Grandmother the dream was telling me … but one thing I know she always taught me was to give it to Jesus. Give my time to Jesus. Give my gifts to Jesus. Give my resources to Jesus. Give my burdens and concerns to Jesus. Give my praise to Jesus.
Maybe it was a give and take thing. Give my all to Jesus, and take His joy, in return.
I know one thing for sure … I see the joy of Grandmother’s heart in Michala.