Some anniversary dates are not romantic dates. They’re often difficult, painful reminders of what no longer is, or never was. Birthdays for someone no longer living to celebrate. Due dates for babies that were never born. The date a loved one died.
These are the anniversary dates we wish we didn’t remember, and we certainly do not want to celebrate.
I started marking these dates with something sweet or enjoyable. Be it a piece of chocolate, a glass of my favorite wine, a slice of yummy pizza … whatever strikes my fancy that day, I find something I know I will enjoy, and use it as a reminder to taste God’s goodness, even when life doesn’t feel good.
“Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh the joys of those who take refuge in Him!” - Psalm 34:8 (NLT)
I have to admit that more times than not, I feel what I am tasting in life is bitter, rather than sweet. I feel like Ruth’s mother-in-law, Naomi, when she said, “Don’t call me Naomi,” she told them. “Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter.” - Ruth 1:20 (NIV)
I do not want to taste bitter things in life, yet they often present themselves to us. I can remember the wise counsel from my sweet dad years ago when I was dealing with an extremely difficult person when I was on television. My dad said to me, “You can allow this to make you bitter or better. But ultimately the choice is yours.”
Yet when life is so extremely unfair and painful, it is easy for us to fall into the trap of feeling like everything just tastes bitter. The painful anniversary dates in life can trigger such emotions. On one such recent “reminder” on the calendar, Terry and I split a chocolate Frosty. As he drove and I fed him one bite, then ate a bite, I could not help but experience the genuine meaning of the word, “bittersweet.”
While many of us face heart-wrenching pain with the reminders of the death of a loved one; the due date for the baby lost, the birthday celebration that is no longer celebrated since the passing of that loved one; there is no denying the raw pain we feel is legitimate. But we can also reshape the way we process said pain, and allow the sweetness of God to comfort us during those moments.
Grief is not a short-term emotion. Grief is long lasting and can come out of nowhere. Anniversary dates just seem to compound already existing grief. But when we make the choice to usher in God’s goodness rather than staying stuck in our misery, we begin tasting and seeing that the Lord is good. And yes, “Oh the joys of those who take refuge in Him!”
Most recently for me, it was the sweet taste of a chocolate Frosty, shared with my love on a day that was a sad reminder. It is okay to cry. It is okay to grieve. It is okay to mourn the loss of life. It is okay to be heartbroken. It is okay to be angry. It isn’t okay to remain bitter like Mara. Because if we choose bitterness over hope, we are denying ourselves the security of resting in Jesus.
The calendar dates serve as painful reminders, yes. But the scripture verses remind us of God’s consistent track record of showing up, fulfilling promises and never, ever leaving us alone.
When the dates on your calendar serve as painful reminders, I beg you to try something sweet. Let it serve as a reminder to taste and see that the Lord is good. His refuge indeed provides joy. And it helps us taste the sweet in the bittersweet.