A couple of weeks ago when Terry and I were out of town, we thought I was having a heart attack. My left arm went from tingling, then had a squeezing sensation, then it went numb. I had some heaviness and a bit of chest discomfort. My heart rate dropped to 30, then went up to 145, then back down to 50. (Terry bought a FIT watch for me, for Christmas, so we have been able to monitor my heart rate). Because of COVID, I wanted to be as far away from a hospital, as possible. Terry was not taking any chances, though, so we called our friends who lived nearby and asked which hospital they suggested.
Please know this: I am going to be okay. I have AFIB, and am certain it will be treated by my cardiologist, and I will get back on track; feeling like myself, again.
The day spent in the emergency room, however, was scary. The doctors and nurses were extraordinary. Each time I apologized for being there when they had truly sick people battling COVID; they comforted me and told me there was plenty of room in their emergency room for me to be there, and what was happening to my heart was not normal and they would be keeping me there until they had answers. I assured them I would be walking out of there, that day. (They assured me that I was not the boss, and would stay put until told otherwise). Because they were the ones with the needles, I was on my best behavior and did not argue with them.
I truly believe doctors and nurses are superheroes who walk among us.
They performed multiple stroke tests on me during my time there: “raise your arms, kick your feet against my hands, remove your mask, stick out your tongue and smile.” I cannot tell you the copious amount of blood they drew, since I lost count after the ninth or tenth vial. Between the number of tests they performed, the machines to which I was hooked and the amount of blood they took, they determined my condition is AFIB. While in the ER, my heart rate dropped below 30, then went as high as 187.
Fortunately for us, Terry had AFIB, and somewhat diagnosed me the day before I went to the hospital. In fact, when my emergency room doctor asked me, “Have you ever been diagnosed with AFIB?” I answered, “Not yet by my cardiologist, but by my husband. Who is not a doctor. Nor does he play one, on TV.” (My doctor had a wonderful sense of humor and thought this was quite funny).
“Are you under tremendous stress?” he asked me.
“No,” I replied. “No more than everyone else who has entered into 2021 and survived the crazy train of 2020 that brought us here!”
I explained to him that I began noticing a couple of months ago how my workouts were more difficult to complete. Because I thought maybe I was getting out of shape, I pushed myself harder during cardio. He explained to me, yet again, why they call heart disease, “the silent killer.”
“If left untreated,” he told me, “it will kill you.”
I can’t help but see God’s hand in all of this, reminding me of another silent killer you and I face, every single day. As we all know, the enemy is our greatest threat. And sometimes, the enemy is invisible and silent. Yet the enemy is what kills us, if our faith is left, untreated.
“For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” - Ephesians 6:12 (NLT)
Anything that hurts us, or causes pain is not from God. It is from the enemy. If it isn’t good, it isn’t from God. We are fighting against a somewhat invisible enemy, but a very real enemy.
When people are cruel and hateful, that’s not God allowing them to be nasty. It is the enemy. When we face diseases and death; that is because of what happened in the Garden of Eden. Sin separated us from God.
The irony is not lost on me with regards to heart disease being the “silent killer.” The enemy creeps into our lives, silently crushing our hearts by stealing our joy. Subtly creating doubt and stirring up conflict where the confidence in God should be firmly placed. The enemy wants (more than anything) to create turmoil and wreak havoc where peace from Jesus should reside in our hearts.
Just as I will (very soon) have a treatment plan for my AFIB; we can have a treatment plan for our peace and our joy. It comes from spending more time with Jesus than we do obsessing over the obnoxious coworker or unkind neighbor. It comes from turning off the television and reading His word. It comes from learning to be still and trusting that God is God and He is good. He is the expert. We can trust Him in the loud situations, and we can trust Him in the silence.
I’m not an expert on anything. But God is. And He is so good at being God. Don’t let the enemy, the real silent killer; crush, numb or destroy your heart. We are fighting a real battle against a very real enemy.
But I’ve read the last page, and I’m not afraid.
Jesus wins.